Eucharisteo

 So I was given this book while I was in the hospital & have been waiting to pick it up and start it until the time felt just right. Little did I know when I received this book what a difference it would make in my journey. I'd like to write the author & say, "I'm the one God inspired you to write this for" because its made all the difference in my mindset as I heal. Each chapter has met me where I'm at and fostered me into the better place that I was looking for. I haven't finished and was hesitant to post any reflections from the book until I reached its completion. But I'm realizing if I don't post some I'll miss out on telling you firsthand what I'm learning RIGHT NOW and how it feels just at this moment.

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The sentence that stands out to me the most so far in this book is, "I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks."

The author is on a journey of healing and is testing her theory that EUCHARESTEO or Thanksgiving is the route to a full life again- to joy. If we can recognize even mysteries as God's gift- just as the Israelites accepted Manna from God which literally means "what is it?"- we can find fullness for our souls. If we can find ways to give thanks every day, we are inviting God in... by acknowledging him as the grace-giver.

Following a loss like mine, you are tempted to, and even encouraged by others at times to see the world through a thank-less lens. It's easy to immediately blame things on God since as believers we believe he has ultimate power and authority and ability to change anything as he sees fit. However we forget that this doesn't say he's a cause of problems- in fact, its the opposite: He is the giver of grace in a broken place. He has all power and authority and loves us. He has all power and authority and gives us new mercies every day. The trick is to see that through tear stained faces and pain stricken moments. We'd rather have self-pity or hang on to the sorrows of this life. But isn't that just what we are fighting against deep down in those hard-to-reach places of our souls & minds? As soon as things like Noah & Jayden's deaths happen we just feel angry at the world for its broken-ness... we hate the sorrow we hate the tears. We say we weren't designed for this world of sorrows... this was not how God intended the world to be. Then we turn around and we are broken, we are angry, we are crying and blaming and losing sight of gratitude.

You hear "well I don't blame you for feeling this." "It's okay to be hurt." And... it is. I understand. And you need to grieve- to sit in your feelings long enough to acknowledge them and understand them... but then if you park yourself in that place long enough where does it get you? Self-pity, remorse, doubts, insecurity, faithlessness.

{And oh I've been there and I'm sure I will go there again sometimes. So please don't misread this thinking I'm saying it's all roses or you should just get over it!! }

Don't things like this make you want to change how things are though? I can tell you for a fact that MANY people, countless people have said, "I wish this kind of thing didn't happen." "This world isn't right." "This isn't okay with me."

It's not okay that Babies die & the elderly sit writhing as they await death. It's not okay that people cry themselves to sleep regularly. It's not okay that there are people hospitalized for both over eating & malnutrition. It's not okay that we use and abuse this planet. It's not okay that this western world is so me-oriented that people can't see past themselves. And the list goes on. You know your bones to pick with this world, fill in the blanks.

So I found myself convicted: Is an ungrateful attitude any better? Does it foster the world you'd like to see one day? The one that Jesus preached & martyrs died for?

"Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn't rescue the suffering. The converse does."