What if I lived without believing one lie? If I always believed I was beautiful. If I always believed I was a great mom. If I always knew what words to take in and what things to sift out. If my mind was stayed on the truth of Christ. If I always felt redeemed. If I always accepted the love that was given. If I never accepted anything less than joy. That would be a lot of work. And I should think it'd be worth it. When I try these things, when I live believing & I live as His creation... it is the best. We were not save to go on judging ourselves or one another. We were not saved to live in the depths of depression. We WERE saved to resist the lies of Satan, to cling to what is good and right and enjoy LOVE and GRACE. I have sung Jesus loves me to Hayley feeling plain bored. I have sung Jesus loves the little children while half asleep trying to get her to sleep. I sang those Jesus songs from my childhood to Jayden until the sun set and came back up again. I sing them every night hoping Hayley will remember. I sing it in the car when we're trying to make it into the city without chaos. And yet today I realize "YOU ARE PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT." Not just Hayley & Jayden & kids I've babysat... ME. I am. We are. You are. Not wretched... not failing... not average... precious. We are his beloved. He is ours. That is the truth. There is a crazy crazy cycle of lies and deceit that we don't even see in a day. There are lies I believe right now as I write that I don't even know are lies yet. But this I am certain of... we aren't meant to live this way.

The post that started as a facebook status

This post started as a facebook status that began:

Dear 2 year old Hayley making fake-distress sounds

 Then became a vent:
since 8 pm when I intended you to go to bed: now it is 9 pm...

And quickly turned into: wait. It's. not. so. bad... as I thought about the fact that I addressed this as if writing to Hayley in the future. When you think about your kid growing up A LOT, all of a sudden you want to put on the brakes! So then I continued into:

& one day I'll miss this. Thank-you for your drama and zeal for life... really, I don't know what I'd do without it. Naps and alone time and quiet will probably go unnoticed one day. A trip alone to the grocery store eventually won't seem so awesome.

And this is where: I decided let's just turn this into a full-fledged blog and get it all out! 

Really, as much as I want breaks and I pull my hair out over the things I must discipline you for 1000 times over... you are never less precious & wonderfully made. Your presence would be sorely missed. You are my treasure, my daughter, a gift, greater than a cup of coffee or a day at the spa to me... and those things top some pretty decent charts!

Hayley, you have enough energy and keep us on our toes so much that its like you're twin boys and a girl all in one some days... who am I kidding? Most days.
Hayley really is THAT kid. FULL and overflowing with energy, dreams, emotions, plans & desires. She can do anything she puts her mind to and its almost impossible to get her to do something she's put her mind against! She knows what she wants from life and will take no less. She's smart as a whip but distracted as can be by this or that.

Now to channel all of that into you understanding:

"You are loved. You are amazing. You CAN do anything. You must NOT give up. You must love and slow down sometimes and savour and enjoy and take it easy on yourself {and your mom & dad} and respect others and accomplish it all without anger and without fear."

That is my challenge- my job. Could you please lend me some of your energy little girl?

Love,
Mama {As you call me}

b l o g s y

So I have a few topics that are blogsy to blog about. In other words, there are like whole blogs on these singular topics. They're sort of the "in" things or perhaps the "usual" things to have blogs about: Food, Home improvement/DIY, and Creative gifting. My friend Lelia at www.alexandlelia.blogspot.com often blogs on these things as well as adorable party ideas, holiday festivities & fashion. I L O V E reading blogs like hers when I have the time. It's the sort of blog posts that you "pin" on pinterest. Okay you get it.

So here are my blogsy brags:

1) Yesterday was Kyle's 24th birthday. Last week I asked him to pick a # between 1 and 10 and he chose 5... so 5 days of gifting it was. He likened it to my love of Ellen Degeneres' "12 days of giveaways" at Christmas. And so off to the store Hayley & I went... boots on, dashing over icy streets and dodging the melting, dirty snow that she now likes to reach for a put directly in her mouth! Oh happy spring in Canada. {I only thought I'd escaped the sand-in-mouth escapades when we left Senegal... but oh isn't the grass "always greener."}

I had a growing list of things he'd mentioned that he'd like to have, so we wrote a few we could afford and get easily in Spruce Grove, then came up with 5 themes that could go with a gift card or date and went from there. The themes turned out to be: "Baby its cold outside" which included new mittens and a Starbucks gift card; "Family night- Sweet & Fun" With candy and a new movie; "I'd rather be at the beach" with one of Kyle's favourite drinks & a Kobo gift card for new reads; "You make me wanna' roll my windows down" (those are lyrics to a country song) with a CD & itunes gift card; and "Smokin' Hot" with grill tools and a gift certificate to a steakhouse for a date.

It was a lot of fun, unique and its do-able on a budget.

 This picture is a sneak peek from gift #2 Kyle received Friday night from miss Hayley... I set it up while they were upstairs and had snacks and chocolate milk ready for them while i made the promised pizza to go along with the movie!

2) Our anniversary is coming up {the 18th... yes February is BUSY BUSY} and Kyle has built me the MOST AMAZING gift: A new bed! This man of mine is a talented carpenter and so so smart!

Here is is... I cried.

Our list of DIYs in the future includes: New front closet, Built-in shelves in our bedroom with a bench, Valences over our curtains, A swing for the backyard, More landscaping this summer, Develop basement, bedside tables to match the bed, & art in our room.

3) One of our new year's "resolutions" along with probably millions of other people was to eat more healthy! Back in the fall our pastor did 2 sermons on eating for your body: the temple of God... for God's glory, out of worship... eating what you NEED, for nourishment not what you WANT, simply for pleasure. Here's a link to the sermons if you're interested:Food, Part 1, Food, Part 2. A mentor also encouraged us that eating right makes a big difference in your life along with physical fitness, emotional fitness and spirituality. Since I had already been eyeing some diets to try and beat the baby fat, we were sold. We started out with the Paleo diet... in a nutshell...more natural, a lot of stright meat and vegetables with less grains and dairy. Here are some of our successes:

 Asian Lettuce wraps. Chicken is boiled & then stir-fried in honey, garlic, red pepper flakes, gluten-free soy sauce (less salty, more flavour), a dash of balsamic vinegar, rice vinegar & I've added mushrooms once, waterchestnuts, celery and/or bamboo. Featured here with iceburg lettuce and chives.

 Asparagus-basil salad with a balsamic/basil-y dressing, tomatos, avocado & (obviously) asparagus.

My VERY FAVOURITE so far: Califlower-crust pizzas!

Sweet Potato Fries- always a pleaser! This recipe was simple: Toss your chopped taters in Olive oil (I did 1/8 cup olive oil, 1/8 cup coconut oil), salt, pepper and your favourite fresh herb- I chose rosemary!

And a lot of stir-fry is always healthy, quick and affordable! This is a peanut butter aka Thai stir fry sauce (easy to find when googled).

There you go, Maggie's blogsy-blog. :) Hope you enjoyed!

{This} a sanctuary

These walls, these messes, the meals the memories. This craft. This rest. The long days and the short. These I offer up. No more to cling on to for control. Open handed I give this- humble worship. My daily actions a sacrifice for Daily Bread. Patience, sacrifices, prayers... all in act of obedience. All to praise my maker. My toils now a delight as I do them for more than myself. That 100th "please" and that millionth spill to wipe up are not  responsibility or chore when done in a "hallelujah." When you're giving offerings in stead of running on fumes. 

Oh how often I fail to make my toils worthwhile. All it takes is a shift in attention. Am I doing this for perfection, for selfish reasons, for mindless control? Or can I stop and do this as a thank-you. Thank-you for these breaths. Thank-you for these beds I can make and these knots I can brush out of bleach blonde baby's hair. This house our sanctuary. A place I can be before you in whatever fashion I please. Alone and where I am comfortable. 

He rejoices over me... As I make my trips up and down the stairs, Past the pictures, dwelling on things that make me smile, ignoring piles of paper to be filed, stopping for a new toddler mess that can't be left and sighing and tiring as a day goes on. He's just watching and waiting for any moment I might notice. How many graces must I miss when I'm too busy CHOOSING stress or IGNORING opportunities to be still. When I'm zoned in on what must be done in a day or getting out the door or in a door... how many graces has he given me when I was unaware? What awesome love.

And yet in a feverish aggravated rush I've wondered- why not help me out? Really? Can't I catch a break? All I had to do was stop. He is in the breathing. The stilling. At work when you on this moving sphere act out life unaware. How many graces have you sped by unaware? 

~~~~~~

Some beautiful things in the sanctuary I call home that I am celebrating today: