Why {not} me?

Sunday's sermon was on faith.

Hebrews chapter one verse one: Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see. Trough their faith the people in the days of old earned a good reputation. (NLT)

Here it is in "The Message" version, "The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd."

Then the chapter follows up with MANY examples of people who had good faith and were rewarded: Noah was shunned while building the arc, but was saved. Sarah believed & conceived a child in her old age though she'd never been able to before. Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice to God even though God had also told him he'd be the son that his descendants would come through & God did not take his son.

These were some verses throughout that described some of their examples of faith and stuck out to me today as I re-read Hebrews chapter 11:

“He obeyed God who warned him about things that had never happened before. By his faith Noah condemned the rest of the world, and he received the righteousness that comes by faith.”

“He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith- for he was like a foreigner, living in tents.”

“Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed & built by God.”

“HE KEPT RIGHT ON GOING BECAUSE HE KEPT HIS EYES ON THE ONE WHO IS INVISIBLE”

These are all inspiring stories, but as the pastor spoke that looming question wouldn't go away: WHY NOT ME? I kept right on going, trusting God, expecting a miracle... all for naught it seemed. One of the first thoughts towards the Bible & Bible stories I had after our time in the hospital was that I'd never understand WHY NOT ME? Why raise Lazarus from the dead & not Noah or Jayden or our recent friend, Josiah? Why heal the sick, but not my sick babies? Why does God sometimes NOT step in when we know he can?

I was re-reading Hebrews 11 today because I was burdened with those thoughts as the pastor traced out the examples in the rest of the verses. It wasn't until he reached this that I tuned back:

“Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. Women received their loved ones back again from death.

But others were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some dies by stoning, some were sawed in half, and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep & goats, destitute & oppressed & mistreated. 

THEY WERE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD, wandering over deserts & mountains, hiding in caves & holes in the ground.

ALL THESE PEOPLE EARNED A GOOD REPUTATION BECAUSE OF THEIR FAITH, YET NONE OF THEM RECEIVED ALL THAT GOD HAD PROMISED. 

FOR GOD HAD SOMETHING BETTER IN MIND FOR US, SO THAT THEY WOULD NOT REACH PERFECTION WITHOUT US.”

 And as I read back over today I also spotted: 

"“All these people died sill believing what God has promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance & welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners & nomads here on earth. Obviously such people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. Is they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.”

And then in my NLT Bible it had this little blurb, "Many think that pain is the exception in the Christian life. When suffering occurs they say, "Why Me?"" (yep- that'd be me!) "They feel as though God deserted them, or perhaps they accuse him of not being as dependable as they thought. In reality, however, we live in an evil world filled with suffering, even for believers..." "Rather than asking WHY ME it is much more helpful to ask WHY NOT ME? Our faith and the values of this world are on a collision course."

So now in stead of thinking WHY ME it is my goal to think WHY NOT ME... 

I remembered as the verse about those who suffered & were persecuted was read the book about Christian Martyrs, "Jesus Freaks" by DC talk. {http://www.jesusfreaks.net/}

None of these people who die in Jesus' name physically SEE that what they're dying for is true. They die for faith & by faith. People who are being persecuted RIGHT NOW {again, check out the website- it hightlights current areas where Christians are being persecuted} and will die, won't die seeing all of God's promises fulfilled. It's just a much bigger picture than the here & now.

So when I don't feel like he's showing me his promises fulfilled I need not fret. WHY NOT ME? I believe in a thing called Heaven. I have HOPE where others have desperation. So go ahead and pick on me world... this is not my home. My home is where my sons are!